Are you stuck?

The night before my mastectomy was one of the few nights I cried.  I didn’t cry because of the surgery or because of the chemo I was to endure.  I cried because it was over.  Life as I knew it was over and everything was going to change after the surgery.  It’s the place where I get stuck, the place that, if I let it, could take over and pull me under. 

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You have an obligation!

Because I had Hodgkin's in my teens with radiation and chemotherapy I was encouraged to get a special radiation therapy called proton therapy when I was recently treated for Breast Cancer.  This meant I was living in another city for 6 weeks and home only on the weekends.

 When I came home I realized I had been very “me” centered.  

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The Fight of OUR Lives

Six months post Breast Cancer treatments and reflecting back over this past 18 months.  I hear a lot of “Fight Cancer”, “I beat Cancer’s Ass”, “Fighting for my life”.  I don’t want to down play that time of active treatment.  It is hard and you have to keep going, you can’t give up because you truly are fighting for your life.  But what I keep thinking about is at that time I had my support army, I had my doctors telling me what needed to be done.  I had people to take care of my kids and delivering food and I had a nurse keeping tabs on my mental state and ready with a pep talk if ever needed.  It was truly a fight and I needed my army.  Now that I’m in transition I feel that maybe that was just the battle and right now is the real fight.

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LOL (Living Out Loud)

I am seriously not laughing!  This actually terrifies me.  Truth be told I have pretty thin skin and I have been fighting this idea of blogging for a long time.  For me it is a strong pull and I’ve finally succumbed to it.  The revelations I will be sharing with you are nothing new and many scholars and minds far more beautiful than mine have shared many ideas far more eloquently, but despite feeling unworthy I still have this pull.  So I asked myself is it possible that my words and my experiences and the way I package it all might just speak to the soul of another?

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