Neglect?

I did a guided meditation this morning on gratitude.  Somewhere near the middle the voice told us we to be  grateful for our inner child and to send love to our inner child.  At this point I began to cry.  I didn’t think I was that connected to the style meditation I was listening to, but he obviously hit a nerve.  

My inner child was crying for love and support.  

That poor child always has to take the backseat, speak only when spoken too and all of that.  Real children have a way of getting noticed. They get our attention to show us they know how to do a cartwheel or they got an A on a homework assignment. They ask for our praise if they aren’t receiving enough and they ask for our love and attention when they need or want it. As we grow this child learns to be more reserved, to need less praise and love everyday because adults have responsibilities and there are expectations.

Most of us have joked at one point in time about our husband wanting a gold star for emptying the dishwasher or making the bed or some other chore we see as ordinary and not worthy of appreciation. This is their inner child speaking out and asking to be fed. Maybe we all need some more celebrating!

When I used to think about nurturing my inner child I thought about swinging on the swingset with my kids, creating or singing at the top of my lungs and maybe even doing a silly little dance step.  Simply playing.  But I never thought to tell my inner child that I love her.  I never thought to say to her, I know it’s been a long day and you’re tired.  It’s ok to cry.  It’s ok to be a little selfish for a while.  You have healing to do and you need this time to gather your strength so you can come back out and play with us.

I think it’s time to honor, nurture and love this child within me, but how do I even talk to her? How do I give her a voice? Just starting with acknowledging she is in there can make a huge difference. Thinking of her as a real child that happens to live inside of me can make a huge difference. Journaling the words you need to hear can make a huge difference. Meditating and honoring her accomplishments and sending her love can make a huge difference. There are many ways to honor this child, but they all start with acknowledging her.

I hope you will take a minute to tune into your heart and ask that child within you how he/she is doing and really listen to the answer. When you have the answer I think you will know what to do with it. We aren’t whole unless we honor all the parts of our being. And just like real children when we are not nurtured the way that we need to be we may act out. We may be sad, get in a fight, or in trouble because that child is in need and is unable to have those needs fulfilled. You wouldn’t dream of neglecting any other child. Why would you neglect your own?  

With love,

Tosha